Working in senior care, for the last 32 years, has always saddened me to see the depression so evident, in many of our seniors. Solutions, oftentimes center around beautifully designed activity calendars and telling the seniors that they just need to get out and socialize with other seniors. What if that approach is wrong?
In the nineties, the push to improve children's self-esteem began. Everyone needed to be treated equally and everyone deserved a ribbon. In nursing school in the mid 90's I spent a semester as a school nurse at an elementary school. I listened to the push for staff to congratulate every kid for what seemed like everything. When my kids were young I read a lot of books being the overresearcher that I am. I had watched a whole group of kids be raised with the nonsense of self-esteem coming from participation ribbons. Those same kids were now in the workforce and managers were being told that these now adults needed lots of congratulations and hand-holding to tell them they are the best. I looked for an alternative method and found Montessori-style education and then incorporated it into how we lived.
Montessori centered around using beautiful real objects to accomplish real projects. Giving kids the ability to increase their self-esteem through doing a good job in their work around the house. I bought tall step stools so that my kids could help cook from the time they could stand on their own. Yes, it was messy and yes I could have gotten things done faster had I sat them in front of the TV or just let them play with toys. Instead, my kids learned to count, by counting eggs in the banana bread batter. They learned fractions by cutting the pizza. They learned cleanliness by doing dishes, sweeping, and mopping. They learned more fractions folding towels and the satisfaction of a job well done. Entertainment and participation ribbons do not create self-esteem, hard work and purpose are the keys to a sense of self-worth.
When we started Abiding Joy Senior Care Home in 2015, I took my experiences from working in the senior care industry since 1992 and merged that with the research I had done for homeschooling my then 9 and 11 year old kids. Over the years I have continued to refine my approach to senior care. Last week I stumbled across a book Montessori for Elder and Dementia Care and then digging deeper found that there is now an international organization that certifies facilities in the use of Montessori with elders. Imagine my surprise when I read their materials to discover that they are encouraging people to change their approach and do exactly what I started nine years ago.
Seniors at Abiding Joy have been feeling happy and joyous from the beginning. One of our first residents begged me for a broom and sitting in her wheelchair she swept all of the common areas of the house. The joy she found in doing the tasks she had always enjoyed, amazed me. I have seen the same joy with other residents. Whether it was the resident with dementia who had been a cook and she loved to do the dishes. We had a gentleman that loved gardening so we took him to the nursery and we bought him all of his favorite plants. He spent many hours watering and caring for those plants. We have a lady who loves to fold so we fold cloth napkins, placemats, and kitchen towels together. We have had many ladies who have enjoyed helping cook and cut up fruit.
The key is to remember that everyone is unique. We strive to find the activity that the resident feels purposeful and joyful doing. We have a resident that I struggled to find something for. Until I realized that he was our self-appointed weatherman. He updates everyone who walks in the room on the weather forecast for the next week. He checks the temperature and watches the weather channel for updates throughout the day. He is proud to watch out for our safety, by keeping us informed about coming storms and he is always right.
Having purpose keeps all of us joyful. Funny how the chores that so many of us wish we did not have to do, can be a source of pride for those on both ends of the age spectrum. The next time a senior offers to help, remember that you might just be helping keep depression away and bringing a bit of joy into their life.
If you or your loved one needs senior care help, call Karen at 682-231-2449 for more information about Abiding Joy Senior Care Home.
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